Finding Your Motivation
One of my clients tells me that I have strong self discipline and willpower because I stick to a workout regimen and commit to healthy eating habits. She also says that she cannot become disciplined enough to reach her own goals.
I’ve thought about this quite a bit. Self discipline is only a small piece of the puzzle and it simplifies things too much. I think that the bigger piece is finding the motivation to commit yourself to reaching your goals. In other words, it doesn’t start with discipline. It starts with feelings.
First, you have to feel uncomfortable enough about an unhealthy behavior or state of being in order to think about change. When you begin to think about the pros and cons of change, the pros must outweigh the cons in order for you to move forward. At this point, you must also identify what is motivating you to change. Don’t just focus on “I want to look and feel better”. Go deeper. For example: “I want to look better when my spouse sees me naked, and I want more energy so I can make it through a tennis game with my son and not feel like dying afterward.” That motivation, assuming it is strong enough, will be key in helping you adhere to future behavior changes. Once your motivator is identified, it will be much easier to get your workouts in and turn down the junk food. Also, reaching early milestones will give you more confidence in setting and going for the next ones.
Of course, having great motivators doesn’t always guarantee success. We hit obstacles along the way—temptations, injuries, travel, work and home stress, illness. While these are unfortunate events, they are not permanent setbacks. How successful we are in reaching our goals depends on how well we recover. How well we recover depends on our attitudes. People who are able to positively frame thoughts and events report being happier and healthier and recover more quickly. (Example: “Even though I’m stuck in rush hour with a flat tire, I am finally able to return a few messages while I wait for AAA.”)
Do you wish you had more self discipline? If so, try to figure out what you want, and why. Again, be specific. Close your eyes and picture it. Notice the colors, sounds, the feelings inside of you.
How would you feel if you were at your best?
What would that look like?
What would you be able to do?
Why is it important to you?
What would happen and how would you feel if you did not get what you envisioned? (If you are feeling any ambivalence, the motivator isn’t strong enough. Go back to the beginning!)
Who besides you would notice?
FYI, this type of work is very typical in wellness coaching. I ask you to think of yourself at your best, and then help you tap into current strengths and successes to get you there. I would be delighted to assist you in this process should you like some guidance.
Danielle
P.S. One of my motivations now is my upcoming vacation at the beach. I want to look HOT in my swimsuit, and get some good photos for my website. See…it doesn’t always have to be deep and spiritual 
