The Power of Accepting Unwanted Emotions
As I discussed in my previous post, this past week has been particularly difficult because of the unexpected dissolution of my love relationship. After receiving the news, I cried very powerful tears for three days straight. My body refused food and I could barely focus on anything other than my sadness and disappointment.
Of course, I didn’t want to feel this way. Who does? I’m rather independent, and wanted to get over it, move on, rebuild my life, get myself together. Of course, that attitude is necessary for logistical reasons as well as emotional stability.
But amazingly, after five days the hurt is not as severe. I’m feeling hopeful again, and even smiled at strangers today. I believe that by accepting the pain into my life and experiencing it in its entirety, I provided the necessary outlet for the emotions that almost swept me under. It was a great amount of energy released; now my body is tired, and even relieved. This is what is allowing the healing process to begin.
Many of us immediately want to push pain aside, whether it is pain from lost love, death, disappointment in life, or a terrible event or tragedy. However, allowing pain to remain in the body and mind causes more harm than it does to face it. The more you resist something, the longer it persists. Pain can teach us about ourselves, and also creates a richer life experience.
Of course, we do not want to go out looking for pain just to create that richer experience. But whenever any unwanted emotion comes into our lives—anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, fear—we need to allow ourselves to experience it fully instead of burying it. It is not necessary to dwell on it, however. This would be contrary to the point. Instead, when we have fully acknowledged the emotion, we could then identify one or two positive aspects of the situation in order to move forward.
I know that my pain is not over. There are still many days ahead when I will sorely miss the companionship we had. When those times do come, I will acknowledge and honor them. I will be grateful for the time I did enjoy and I will try to focus on the best memories.
Namaste.
Danielle
